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Alex Osaki

I am Alex Osaki, pictured at the immediate left there in helpful Author-Dust-Jacket-Photo format, and a 22-year old resident of Denver, Colorado. Until recently, I lived in Boulder, but have since graduated with a degree in anthropology (having earned all the benefits thereof, according to my diploma, although so far the benefits have amounted to student loan payments). In reality I'm just a normal person, but "webmaster" sounds so much more S&M-y, so you can call me that instead. Slave.

When I'm not working, I write (you can see my computer and word processor hanging out in the background, though in the period since that picture was taken I replaced the laptop with a new one and bought an IBM Selectric) and noodle around with computers. I sometimes also take pictures. I like a lot of music, from classical (particularly modern; Copland and Prokofiev) to classic rock. You'd do well to not ask me for suggestions, though; I like Keane, Oasis, and Belle & Sebastian.

Since I fancy myself a writer, I also read a lot. In general, science fiction, and in general short stories. Were he not a stuck-up, pretentious asshole, I would aspire to be Harlan Ellison, whose stories I love dearly. And, now that I think of it, maybe I do anyway. Ha, ha! Among others, I also like Heinlein, Pohl, and Dick (if you're going to go around shouting "Alex likes Dick!" then at least put it in context).

As you might have guessed, I also like Border collies a lot (this is your warning that the page is not going to remain free of weirdness much longer, so you'd best get out now). I'm kind of a dog person in general; my parents own an Australian shepherd who is a tremendous doofus but a great guy, and a couple of my friends own Border collies. They're smart, unstable, and colourless--much like yours truly!

Anyway, other stuff. First, school. I miss school. I started out as a linguist like my father, but came to focus on cultural anthropology and sociology, particularly as regards gender and sexuality (when I say how much I like sex, it is, alas, purely academic) with a secondary and inexplicable (I use that word often) emphasis on American Indians. As a history student, I studied maritime history and Nazi Germany, two things which dovetail beautifully, I can assure you.

When I achieve my longtime goal of world dictatorship, you all will be forced to confront my political views, which are socially libertarian, economically moderate, and generally hawkish. I'm registered with the DNC, but I describe myself as neo-conservative. Nonetheless, I--like many of you--am disappointed in the state of democracy these days, so the plan is to take power of the entire world in an all-dominating coup, then institute a system wherein there is only one rule--"liberty!"--and only one corrolary: "unless I say otherwise". 2024 is the big year, folks.

Hmm, what else. I like languages a lot; like I said, I was a linguistics major when I started school. I can say simple crap like "hello" in ten or fifteen languages, and I have a relatively firm grasp of French and Norwegian. I've also studied Arabic and (seriously) Lakota, in addition to trying to learn Esperanto (a failed experiment, even though, yes, la internacia lingvo estas tiel facile ciel ajnulo povas lerni gi).

I was born in Bal'mer, Murrilun, and I live in Colorado. I spent the formative years of my English development in Japan and so write in a curious (inexplicable!) mixture of American and International English. As with languages, I also love accents (particularly, of course, those from the British Isles, it must be admitted) though I speak Midwestern Standard (possibly Western, though not Californian) without much of one, sad to say. I guess at least I could be a newscaster.

I'll finish up here with a brief explanation of my online name, which is this: for many years I went (and still go in some places) by the name "Baikal". Why? Because in the 7th grade, I designed a ship that I rather liked, and imagined myself captain of it. As it was the Baikal, I used that name for myself. Then a few years back I was registering at a website where I didn't necessarily want it known that I was the same person (though they had no knowledge of Baikal, of course; I was a paranoid youngster), so I picked at random the name of a Greek motor launch from my Jane's Fighting Ships of World War II.

(This title is, incidentally, a misnomer. It really should read, Jane's Fighting Ships of World War II, Plus a Whole Bunch of SHips that Only Fought a Little, and Quite a Few Complete Wimps Who Couldn't Have Fired a Shot in Anger Even If They Wanted To, but that leaves a bit to be desired in the brevity department)

These days, I'm more active as Klisoura than Baikal (generally if you see a Klisoura posting online, it's me); the former name, at least, has more of an "Internet presence"--the moreso with this website. Besides, when I first built it, "" was already taken.

Founder, Border Collie Enterprises